Self-esteem is the way you think and feel about yourself. If you want to feel fulfilled, or to be comfortable in the company of others, self-esteem is crucial.
When you have self-esteem, life is just a bowl of cherries. You believe you are an okay human being. You are comfortable with yourself. You feel attractive and vital. You have confidence, energy and optimism. You trust the world and the people around you. You generally have positive or realistic expectations. You take positive action to meet your needs and wants. You accept responsibility for your failures and your successes and are willing to take calculated risks. you feel equal to other people. You feel a sense of pride, satisfacton and happiness with your life. You see problems as challenges and opportunitites to learn and improve. When you wake up in the morning it's another day in paradise.
When self-esteem is low, life is doubt. You doubt yourself and those around you. You lack confidence. Instead of taking action, you worry. You are uncertain about what your needs and wants are. You see problems as obstacles. You blame yourself for your failures and don't take credit for your successes. You don't believe there is anything you can do to change. You rarely feel happy. When you wake up in the morning it's just another day you have to get through.
Among the two lists above, which person stands a greater chance of happiness in life? When self-esteem is low, your chances of happiness are low. If you have low self-esteem, you are not being yourself, because you fear what others might think. You rely on others for approval. You do not think you are worthwhile and you have little faith in your own abilities. If anything good happens to you it is just luck, while the success of others is due to ability. You may relate to others by being servile, submissive, passive or overbearing and a little needy. You feel guilty when you say no. You probably say, 'sorry', 'yes', 'of course' and 'it's only me' quite a lot.
Sometimes self-doubt manifests in other ways. You may rely excessively on certain things for a feeling of self-worth. For instance, whether or not you feel good depends on your weight, your job, your finances, your home, your friends, or whether or not the man or woman of your dreams calls.
Self-esteem may be high in one area of your life and low in others. You may feel confident at work and insecure in your relationships or vice versa. The trouble with this is that sooner or later lack of confidence in one area of your life is going to negatively affect other areas of your life. You need to feel relaxed and happy in all aspects of your life to function optimally.
Finally, your self-esteem could be good until something comes along, like losing a job or a relationship ending, to make you doubt yourself; or pressures mount up in your life, and all of a sudden you feel doubtful, confused and frightened. At times, even the most confident and happy people feels insecure!
Whatever the cause, when self-esteem is low, the world you live in is a frightening and unpredictable one because you are always dependent on the whims of others or the turn of events. If you can compare your life to a car, when self-esteem is low, you are not in the driving seat. Other people or events are steering the wheel, while you crouch in the back wondering where they will take you next. That's exactly what low self-esteem does to your life. You are alive but you are not really living.
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