Human Bonding

The term human bond, or more generally human bonding, refers to the process or formation of a close personal relationship, as between a mother and child, especially through frequent or constant association. When pairs have favorable bonds, the nature of this bonding is usually attributed to "good" interpersonal chemistry. The word bond derives from the 12th century Middle English word band, meaning something that binds, ties, or restrains. Its application to interpersonal human relationships has been used intermittently ever since.

In the 4th century BC, the Greek philosopher Plato argues that love, in a way, directs the bonds of human society. In his Symposium, Eryximachus, one of the narrators in the dialog, states that love goes far beyond simple attraction to human beauty: It occurs all throughout the animal and plant kingdoms, as well as all throughout the universe. Love directs everything that occurs, in the realm of the gods as well as that of humans.

Eyrximachus reasons that when various opposing elements such as wet and dry are "animated by the proper species of Love, they are in harmony with one another . . . But when the sort of Love that is crude and impulsive controls the seasons, he brings death and destruction". As it is love that guides the relations between these sets of opposites throughout existence, in every case it is the higher form of love that brings harmony and cleaves toward the good, while the impulsive vulgar love creates disharmony.

He concludes that the highest form of love is the greatest; when love "is directed, in temperance and justice, towards the good, whether in heaven or on earth: happiness and good fortune, the bonds of human society, concord with the gods above- all these are among his gifts".

In the 1660s, the Spanish philosopher Spinoza writes, in his Ethics of Human Bondage or the Strength of the Emotions, that the term “bondage” relates to the human infirmity in moderating and checking the emotions. That is, according to Spinoza ‘when a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune.’

In 1809 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in his classic novella Elective Affinities, speaks of the marriage tie and by analogy shows how strong marriage unions are similar in character to that by which the particles of quicksilver find a unity together though the process of chemical affinity. Goethe’s novella, in its time, was regarded as treatise on chemical origins of love. Humans in passionate relationships, according to Goethe, are analogous to reactive substances in a chemical equation.

Bond Varieties
The term “bonding” applies aptly to all variations of connections within interpersonal relationships, social networks, economic nexuses, political ties, etc. The term male bonding refers to bonding between males through shared activities excluding females or the formation of a close personal relationship between men; for example: "the rituals known as male bonding do not necessarily involve drinking beer together". The analog concept female bonding, although less frequently used, refers to the formation of a close personal relationship between women.

The familial bond defines as a uniting force, tie, or link between related family members. A related concept is bondage, being the tenure of service of a villager, serf, or slave and generally refers to a state of being bound by compulsion as via law or mastery; a bondmaid is a woman servant, a bondman is a male servant, and a bondsman is a person who provides bonds or surety for another. In the 14th century, a bondwoman was considered a female slave. The distinction is that "bonding" almost always implies a voluntary act, of entering in or remaining in relationship from a wish to do so.

A comparable analog is labor union, originating in 1866, being an organization of united workers formed for the purpose of advancing its members’ interests in respect to wages, benefits, and working conditions. The cohesion of the group is facilitated by the exchange of union dues for benefits. By uniting, the bonded group has more leverage than as compared to a collection of separate individuals.

Similar to the marriage bond, is concept of civil union. A civil union is one of several terms for a civil status similar to marriage, typically created for the purposes of allowing same-sex couples access to the benefits enjoyed by married opposite-sex peoples; it can also be used by opposite-sex couples who do not prefer to enter into the legal institution of marriage but who would rather be in a union more similar to a common-law marriage. With the popular success of the hit television show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and others such as The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the term gay-straight bonding as well as gay bonding have come into vogue.

Bond Distinction
A common division when referring to the structural integrity of relationships or unions is to divide such bonds via a physical and a neurological component, which may or may not co-occur, i.e. into:

1. physical bond – two people bonded owing to physical adhesion.
2. neurological bond – two people bonded owing to neurological adhesion.

The physical bond is typically sexual in nature, i.e. a sexual bond, although it may refer to individuals bonded by proximity as neighbors or by blood as siblings. People bonded physically typically have a visceral connection, either via pheromone exchange, visual attraction, hormonal adhesion, etc. The neurological bond covers all varieties of mental attachment, as psychological bonds, intellectual bonds, emotional bonds, financial bonds, synergistic bonds, altruistic bonds, etc.

In 1939 psychologist Godfrey Thomson, in his Factorial Analysis of Human Ability, for example, posted theoretical “bonds” of intelligence which function in loving relationships. In Sternberg’s 1986 Triangular Theory of Love, he defined Thomson’s theory as a structural model of love where we might conceptualize love in terms of feelings that, when sampled together, yield the composite experience that we label love. Here, the composite is not an undifferentiated unity; rather, it can be decomposed into a large number of underlying bonds that tend to co-occur in certain close relationships. With reference to the triangle theory, Sternberg relates the passion component of his triangle to the physical bond and the intimacy and decision/commitment components of the triangle to the neurological bond, both of which vary in strength and intensity throughout each stage of the relationship, i.e. dating, transition, marriage, etc.

Similarly, in recent the 2006 National Geographic article “Love the Chemical Reaction” photo journalist Lauren Slater asks: “Does passion necessarily diminish over time? Can a marriage be good when Eros is replaced with friendship, or even economic partnership, two people bound by bank accounts?” Referring to her eight-year marriage, she states: “The ties that bind have been frayed by money and mortgages and children, those little imps who somehow manage to tighten the knot while weakening its actual fibers.”



Beauty Of Love
The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"

And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."