A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~ Arabian Proverb
Research has shown that people who have friends tend to have better physical health and report a better sense of psychological well-being than those with weak or no network of friends. Although some people may know a lot of people, they have a more select group of friends and an even smaller number of "best" friends.
Friends provide support in three main ways: emotional, cognitive guidance, and tangible help. Friends give each other emotional support by demonstrating care and affection. They also provide guidance during times of decision-making. Friends give help by meeting practical needs, such as loaning a car, cooking a meal, or taking care of a dog while a friend's on vacation. Psychologists have hypothesized that friends are actually coping mechanisms; by providing companionship and resources, friends alleviate stress in a person's life.
There are cultural differences in the way friends are viewed across the world. In cultures that value familial network, such as the Asian culture, the function and role of a friend are often found within the family structure, and friendships are not given the same weight of importance as in another culture. There are also varying definitions as to what constitutes a friend. Someone might call another person "friend" because they have mutual interests and activities, while another person considers a friend someone he shares similar attitudes, values, and beliefs.
Interpersonal Attraction
Work on friendship has involved research on the factors in interpersonal attraction as well as the study of how relationships are maintained over time. Friendship is initially affected by such variables as proximity, familiarity, physical attractiveness and attitude similarity.
Further work on relationship maintenance suggests that friendship involves different interpersonal processes than mere social contact. In casual interactions and in the early stages of friendship, relations are conducted on principles of social exchange. According to the rules of social exchange, relationships are maintained as long as they are mutually rewarding . For example, if an acquaintance does you a favour, you are obligated to return the favour or pay her back. In a sense, an exchange relationship involves a sense of "keeping score" to make sure that both parties are being treated fairly.
As relationships progress, however, returns become long-term rather than short-term. They begin to think of themselves as "we" and do things that are good for the relationship rather than good for themselves. The basis of the relationship is no longer exchange but communality. Both parties contribute to their common interests. They stop "keeping score". For example, if you do a favour for you best friend, you do not expect to be repaid, either immediately or perhaps ever. Doing each otehr favours is a natural part of friendship, part of your common investment in your relationship.
A shift from an exchange basis to a communal basis can be a signal that a relationship has deepeded. Likewise, a shift from communal to exchange interactions can signal a deteriorations in relations. If you do your best friend a favour, and he or she pays you back right away "because I owed you", you may interpret that as a sign that you are not as close as you thought.
There are many types of ships. There are wooden ships, plastic ships and metal ships. But the best and most important types of ships are friendships. ~ Old Irish Quote
Friendship As Easy As ABC
Accepts you as you are
Believes in "you"
Calls you just to say "HI"
Doesn't give up on you
Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
Forgives your mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps you
Invites you over
Just "be" with you
Keeps you close at heart
Loves you for who you are
Makes a difference in your life
Never Judges
Offer support
Picks you up
Quiets your fears
Raises your spirits
Says nice things about you
Tells you the truth when you need to hear it
Understands you
Values you
Walks beside you
X-plains thing you don't understand
Yells when you won't listen and
Zaps you back to reality
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