Interpersonal Relationships: Affiliation

Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people. They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing, implying the discovery or establishment of common ground, and may be centered around something(s) shared in common. The study of relationships is of concern to sociology, psychology and anthropology.

Interpersonal relationships include friendships, coworker relationships, and intimate relationships like love and marriage. Social psychologists have studied the processes involved in three kinds of interpersonal relationships: affiliation; friendship; and intimate relationships.

People like to be with other people. This tendency to be with others of one's own kind is termed affiliation. Research suggests a number of reasons for affiliating. Two reasons for affiliating with others include social comparison and fear-reduction.

Social Comparison
Social comparison occurs when we want to validate our own behaviours or beliefs by comparing them to others'. For example, if you want to know when during a lecture you should be taking notes, you can observe the behaviour of those around you and start writing when most of your classmates do so.
Fear Reduction
Affiliation may be a response to fear. When we feel threatened, we may prefer to be with other people because of the comfort they provide. This "misery loves company" effect was demonstrated by Stanley Schachter's study of university women who believed they were about to receive painful electric shocks.

Further research suggests that "misery loves miserable company". People who expected to be painfully shocked, when offered a choice, expressed a preference to wait with others who also expected to be shocked, rather than with other non-shock subjects.

Affiliation may reduce fear because of social comparison. When one is afraid and in the company of others who are also afraid, one can observe the reactions of others to confirm the "right" way to feel and act.



Beauty And Love

Whenever Beauty looks,
Love is also there;

Whenever beauty shows a rosy cheek
Love lights Her fire from that flame.

When beauty dwells in the dark folds of night
Love comes and finds a heart entangled in tresses.

Beauty and Love are as body and soul.
Beauty is the mine, Love is the diamond.
They have together

since the beginning of time- Side by side, step by step.

Control Of Your Heart

A wise and understanding heart does not repay a hurt with a hurt. In doing so, the heart is diminished. Fissures form. Love leaks out. Every pain given in return for one received, changes the contents of the heart. It is no longer defined by love, wisdom and understanding. It is redefined by the bearers of hurt and hate, pain and prejudice, meanness and madness, sorrow and sadness. You give away control of your very own heart.

The despair of being hurt is healed by overcoming it, not clinging to the hurt and inflicting more of it on the world. When darkness is added to darkness, no one can see, no one can love. Everyone loses.

Love is not always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it's the integrity we hold on to when we're tempted to strike back. Sometimes it's the honor that keeps us from exchanging the valuable contents of our heart for the harsh satisfaction of lashing back.

No, the way of love is not always easy, but when night falls, dawn is assured.

The integrity and honor of a wise and understanding heart, rises with the sun of a new day.

"Because you have asked for understanding to discern judgment. I have given you a wise and understanding heart." 1 Kings 3:11-12