A sexual fantasy is a fantasy of a sexual nature. A person may or may not wish to enact their sexual fantasies in real life; some may find their fantasies completely unacceptable — or even physically impossible — were they to be transposed into real life.
Our ability to use our imaginations erotically is extraordinary, and over the course of the 20th century there has been more and more freedom to explore fetishes and sexual fantasies both in private and in public. Cultural attitudes to sexual fantasy have changed enormously. In the 19th century, sexual subjects were unacceptable (some commentors believe that is the reason that pornography flourished).
In place of the puritanism of Freud, who believed that fantasies were a sign of immaturity, many therapists now consider that it is perfectly normal to have sexual fantasies, and some even believe that they can be used to achieve a more fulfilling sex life.
Alfred Kinsey, in his pioneering surveys of sexual behaviour begun in 1938, found that most of his subjects had sexual fantasies, beginning just before the onset of puberty, and that these fantasies continued throughout adulthood, even among people who had fulfilling sexual relationships. In fact, he found that people spend a surprising amount of time thinking about sex, and this has been confirmed by other studies: a survey in Chicago in the 1970s suggested that people had sexual fantasies about eight times a day.
There are vast cultural differences in what different societies consider acceptable material for sexual fantasy and fetishes. Many fetish objects have lost much of their mystique because we are so widely exposed to them. Some once-forbidden thrills, such as rubber suits and body piercing, are today marketed not only as fetish objects, but also, with a dash of irony, as high fashion. The Victorians would not have understood that -- for them, the fetish was shocking and dangerous, the true dark side of sexuality. Freud saw fetishism as the result of linking unresolved childhood drives to objects that seemed "safe": you could not lust after your mother, but you could lust after her high-heeled shoe.
But the line between what society accepts and does not accept is not always clear. Most people would say that they disapprove of fantasies that revolve around inflicting serious harm on oneself or somebody else -- but at the same time, renowned sex researchers Masters and Johnson found that one of the most common themes in the sexual fantasies of both men and women is being forced to have sex(others include making love to a different partner form the usual one and watching others have sex).
There is also a legal debate as to the degree to which people should be allowed to harm themselves, or to harm others even with full consent. Research into sexual fantasies is complicated and must rely on what patients report to their therapists, but some studies have found links with childhood events -- either sexual violence or a strict, repressed upbringing. There is an obvious distinction between fantasy and action -- a fantasy does not harm others. However, some people who have fantasies that involve serious harm to themselves or others claim that they feel compelled to act them out.
People with less extreme fantasies sometimes choose to turn them into reality. Generally, four factors influence whether or not people try to do this:
- how powefully erotic the fantasies are
- how confident the fantasizer is
- how receptive the partner is
- how bizarre the fantasy is
When you brighten up the world, you brighten your experience of life.
When you carry out acts of kindness, you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says,"Yes! This is how I ought to feel." ~ Harold Kushner
No comments:
Post a Comment